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· Hanging out on the box.
· Walking the square.
· Late-night Uno tournaments while listening to "Love Line" on HFS.
· Loser Ball
· Annoying the Minkoves.
· Hours of shooting airguns in the woods behind Bentley... "It's ok, officer. They're only pellet guns."
· Adam: "So I was jerking off the other day..."
· Eugene trying to light the stop sign on fire.
· "Were you kids shining a laser pointer into our tent?"
· Driving the moped around the old 'hood.
· Downhill racing on the scooter.
· Pogo-sticking along Treeline.
· Scooter-Boy
· The poor kid on the bike... "Where's my money at?"
· Sitting in the Subaru laughing for five minutes straight.
· The mysterious white car visible only to the Minkoves that almost hit the Subaru.
· "Hey, aren't you the dumb mofo that raped my sister?"
· Going to the community pool and watching the 10-year-old Russians hit on the college life guards.
· Trying to steal the road sign.
· The trash bag incident (let us never speak of it again).
· The two years that passed before "Break Stuff" stopped being great.
· Endless hours playing Bond on N64.
· 2-wheel driving at work in the go-kart... "Damn, this nigger ain't never seen this shit before."
· Our visit to the gun store... "That's not a gun. This is a gun (throws me the MP5)!"
· Food shopping at the Giant... who would have thought the Goldfish would be in the porn aisle?
· Our first trip home from the mall... and after three hours of traffic our first unintentional trip to Woodlawn.
· Winning the frogs at the carnival and getting rejected... "Want my frog...?
Mine's bigger."
· "Hey, Mr. Wiz. Who's that hot girl on the Corvette...
That's my daughter... Why is she lying on top of your car in a bikini?"
· Shoving the yard-stick up Pod's ass in physics... "Pod, is there something you would like to share with the rest of the class?"
· All of those great debate moments where we managed to argue about every issue known to man and still get no work done.
· Sticking the 60's picture of Mr. Wiz on his door.
· Stealing the picture of Heidi Klum from the librarian's "personal stash."
· Getting lost on the way to McDonough.
· "Brown Team!"
· "Chris doesn't like the point system... minus one point."
· Mr. D. trying to hook me up with that Sam girl.
· Commissioner Lafada complimenting me on the pornographic picture someone drew at mock trial.
· Losing our case to a bunch of "Canadians" who thought getting hit by a Honda Civic at 25 mph wouldn't hurt.
· The India Bush
· La Panuela
· Mr. Kehl playing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."
· "That is so cute, Chris Spicer... Is it going to be navy and light blue?"
· "We are SO outside your house!"
· "ajkfjafdsjkldfafk," said Sam's dad.
· So many wasted hours at the mall... "Hey, guys. It's getting kind of dark in here."
· Getting the knife pulled on us in the parking lot.
· Sitting at the modeling booth, hitting on girls.
· Finding Osama bin Laden before the U.S. Government... who would think to look for him at a shoe store in the mall?
· Convincing Sam's stalker that he's gay... not much of a challenge.
· 13-year-old... need I say more?
· The Hanson joke.
· Getting to know the Spencer's employees on a first-name basis.
· The woman who pulled out in front of me at the mall... "I'm sorry...
You'd better be!"
· The manager at McDonald's... "I just slammed some woman's fingers in the drive-through window... Screw this, I'm going out back to smoke this blunt."
· The black kid at Burger King... "I'll have a number 1, 2 number 3's, a number 7... and put it on my tab."
· Downhill racing in the industrial park.
· Sam stealing my car in the elementary school parking lot.
· Craig stealing Sam's car at the gas station.
· Our dinner at Friendly's... "Go on, Sam. Pop the cherry..." and the subsequent 400% tip.
· Getting to be a carnie for a night... paying to get another guy laid.
· Those great paintball moments... "Why do I keep getting shot?" said the kid in the bright blue JT jersey.
· All those wasted hours at J&J's... we never did get to see his "Angel."
· Fumkin Drumfkin
· Reverse 180's in the elementary school parking lot.
· Getting kicked out of the movies... "What, you don't think rules apply to you...?
No, I have diplomatic immunity."
· My first flat tire, my first show, and my first speeding ticket.
· Me singing Taking Back Sunday, Eric Singing Staind
and "Pistol Pistol."
· "I'm Chris's brother. He calls me a fruitcake. I call him Daddy."
· "Why don't you like Sam...? 'Cause he's ugly... Why is he ugly...?
'Cause he's black."
· "Dude, we are SO gone!"
· Chasing down Sam on his frequent one-way drives.
· "Get out of my house... No, YOU get out of MY
house."
· stopavoidingus
· We are going skeet shooting... followed by the exaggerated jerking-off motion.
· "You dropped this!"
· "Can I borrow your cell phone? I'm waiting for my interest to call..." and similar lines
· "Hey, look! There goes the point."
· Messing up that kid's arm who punched Dan through the window at the gas station... last time that guy messes with a Subaru.
· "That's it, you're out of the band!"
· 795 laser tag
· Driving Bonita.
· Flying by the Acura on 795 while busting a move.
· "Suuubaruuu!!!"
· Going to the Towson Mall and finally getting to see what it is like to be a "Canadian."
· "You're not from around here, are you...? How could you tell...? Well, for starters you're going the wrong way on a one-way."
· Utilizing SWAT tactics to sneak up on Sam in my driveway and scaring the crap out of him in the process.
· Dan climbing into the ice chest at Giant... and subsequently getting escorted out of the store.
· Duckman going to Oregon Ridge.
· Picking up 16-year-old girls at the carnival with Dan's crazy uncle.
· Giving the pair of panties to the fat carnie... "Of course they're hers. Take a sniff and see for yourself."
· "Go, white boy! Go, white boy!"
· Dan's crazy uncle following me on Nicodemus.
· "How dare you drive through my mud pit."
· Driving through the puddle... three times can't hurt, can it?
· The jacked-up car at the movies... "Where my wheels at, yo?"
· The knocked-over soda machine.
· The old woman pulling out in front of me on Reisterstown Road... she never even knew what happened.
· Miraculously never getting kicked out of a single restaurant.
· Craig, Mel, and I going to New Town Diner... party of 5.
· The fridge on the curb in Eric's neighborhood.
· "No, mom. I'm not gay... I can explain the dress."
· "Can we play triangles in your Ska band?"
· Craig hitting the 18-wheeler... Truck driver didn't know who he was messing with.
· Racing on Reisterstown Road... Whoops, red light!
· The one time Sam actually answered the door with pants on.
· My graduation party
· "Must be a hot game."
· Driving with Jen.
· "What were you doing...? I don't know, but I was thinking of you... Taking a crap!"
· So many great movies... "Is it dead [shoots the cat]...? Does that look like spit to you...? I am the clit commander!"
· Craig going out with Ellen.
· "In Mother Russia..."
· Laser tag... the only three teenagers there.
· Paying the laser tag guy a dollar to ignore all of the rules.
· Mom punishing Kevin for liking men.
· Hours spent in the Lighthouse Creamery... we still never managed to leave a decent tip.
· Fillet of fish.
· More Simpsons references than I can remember.
· Sam's inside joke that no one else in the group was on the "inside" of.
· Knowing each and every word to Afroman after not hearing it for almost a year.
· Watching BET... "Damn, I didn't know DMX had no xylophones... You can't do your comedy here."
· Hanging out by the pool... "I don't know how to turn on the hot tub," said the Engineer.
· "Eric, do you want me to make you some Bagel Bites?" said Mom.
· "I've got to run away. I've got to get away..."
· Theme from I Dream of Jeannie.
· Eric's surprise party... "Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow..."
· Self-checkout at the new Giant... America is not ready.
· The Anti-Everything That Sucks Coalition
· Jumping out of my car on Owings Mills Blvd... and Nicodemus Rd.
· Four years of no girls, no parties, no alcohol, no drugs, and still managing to have the time of our lives.
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